You are up against the barrier of emotion. It is to control your own. Rather than telling them what to do, you let them figure it out. Summary of "Getting Past No: Reframe their tactics, too, by going around their stone walls, deflecting their attacks, and exposing their tricks.
Listen to what they have to say. Use power to bring them to their senses, not to their knees. Instead of trying to teach them yourself, let the problem be their teacher. To create the right climate for joint problem-solving, you need to defuse their negative emotions.
Instead, keep your mental equilibrium by distancing yourself emotionally and viewing the situation objectively.
One simple rule of thumb will help keep you out of trouble: It is harder to be hostile toward someone who hears you out and acknowledges what you say and how you feel.
Step to their side. Use Power to Educate. Instead, you should take their side by listening to them, acknowledging their points and their feelings, agreeing with them, and showing them respect. You need to help them save face and make the outcome look like a victory for them.
The secret of effective negotiation is that simple: Show them that they cannot win by themselves but only together with you. Avoid the temptation to tell other side what the solution is. Negotiation is a two-way street. For agreement is only a means to an end, and that end is to satisfy your interests.
Assume the mind-set of a respectful counselor. In conventional bargaining, your position may be all you need to know in advance. The simplest way to involve the other side is to ask for their ideas. Step to their side. It means helping them save face; and it means making the process of negotiation as easy as possible.
Try to understand the other side's logic and perspective, and do not overlook intangible interests such as needs for recognition, identity or security. We all want to get to yes, but what happens when the other person keeps saying no.
The goal is to reassure the opposite side and help them regain their own mental balance. Behind their attack often lies anger; behind their stonewalling often lies fear. Most negotiations are won or lost even before the talking begins, depending on the quality of the preparation.
Finally, people may resist an agreement if it is too much change, coming too fast. Position-based negotiating tactics can be handled by ignoring them, or by reformulating them.
You may feel like pushing them, but this will only make them more resistant. Broadly defined, negotiation is the process of back-and-forth communication aimed at reaching agreement with others when some of your interests are shared and some are opposed.
Many people will reject an agreement rather than lose face. Act as if they must believe their position is fair—they usually do. The way to change the game is to change the frame.
Especially worthwhile if you deal with difficult people, this is another clear and easy-to-read book that everyone should read. You are up against the barrier of emotion. An opponent's resistance may indicate that she still has unmet interests.
Listen actively to them, by asking clarifying questions and paraphrasing their statements. It is soft on the people, hard on the problem. Enhance your negotiating power and use it to bring them back to the table. Getting Past No is the state-of-the-art book on negotiation for the twenty-first century.
It will help you deal with tough times, tough people, and tough negotiations. It will help you deal with tough times, tough people, and tough negotiations/5().
Summary of Getting Past No: Negotiating With Difficult People By William Ury Summary written by Conflict Research Consortium Staff Citation: Getting Past No: Negotiating With Difficult People, William Ury, (New York: Bantam Books, ).
In Getting Past No, Ury presents a five-step strategy for negotiating with an uncooperative. Getting Past No • Shows how to navigate the obstacles that stand between you and Yes. • You get to the most satisfying solutions and the optimal relationship when both sides are doing their best to engage the very real problems dividing them.
7. Getting Past No Summary by William Ury impartially interprets the ability to negotiate in difficult situations.
Remaining calm and open-minded is key! Getting Past No Summary by William Ury impartially interprets the ability to negotiate in difficult situations. Remaining calm and open-minded is key! In Getting Past No, William Ury offers a proven breakthrough process for turning adversaries into negotiating partners.
With state-of-the-art negotiation and mediation strategies designed for the twenty-first century, Getting Past No will help you deal with challenging times.
Getting Past No Summary by William Ury impartially interprets the ability to negotiate in difficult situations. Remaining calm and open to various is the first step to mastering this technique.
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